Child #1: (Wailing and holding a white paper bag with a torn hole through it) 'Ahhhh!!! You see, it's all Maddie's fault!' she says flustered and tears welled up in her eyes.
Mom: (Squatted to ground) 'It's fine! You see?! It's fine! Stop!' She stammers as she grabs up every last chicken nugget off the pavement. Her face is pomegranate red.
Child #2: 'Shut up Sarah! It wasn't my fault! Stop blaming me for everything!' She says pouting and about to cry herself.
Child #3: Sits in his car seat eating french fries.
Mom: 'That's ENOUGH! Look, it's just FOOD! Here, take it and STOP CRYING!' (Mom looks as if she's about to cry too)
My POV (Point of View)
I'm a passerby walking with my three children. Two in a stroller and the other beside me. I see the above scenario unfolding as so. Directly in front of me are two other families walking past the scene as well. Both have only ONE child. The mother of one child looks at what seems to be her mom or MIL and shakes her head in disbelief. The other set of parents whisper something along the lines of 'I can't B-E-L-I-E-V-E her!' Their looks are judgmental, condescending, smirking, annoyed and unsympathetic to this mom DEALING with this totally screwed up situation.
I mean, let's face it, it's not easy having to calm a wailing child down that's blaming the other child for some stupid mishap of a faulty food bag while you're trying to quickly pick up, from the nasty pavement, what's left of the food you just friggin bought because your kids have low blood sugar and you're parked on the curbside of a shopping mall and you have to get them to soccer practice or ballet or karate or some other fucking extra curricular activity and you're embarrassed because your kid just doesn't shut the fuck up and HELP you with THEIR food on the nasty pavement and to boot there are two other singleton parents giving you the unsympathetic rolling eye gesture because to them you seem like a bitch of a mother that treats her kids like little assholes.
I wanted to run to that mom and help her pick up the stupid nuggets and french fries from the pavement but I highly doubted she wanted my germ infested hands on her kids' food but still, I thought of it. I felt awful for her. I felt her pain and her frustration and her rage and her last fucking nerve at the brink of a serious melt down and the embarrassment of sounding like a terrible terrible mother that just wanted to do the BEST that she could in the WORST situation. I got her. I get it. I live it day in and day out. Many parents with ONE child haven't a clue and the LEAST that they could EVER do for a parent of more than one child is be a bit more sympathetic, compassionate, understanding and overall nicer.
I'm not saying that parents with more than one child are better than those with a singleton. No. But I will say that no matter how much those with singletons try to imagine or try to understand those of us with more than one, they never ever will because a singleton is a world of a difference. So much so that it's not even fair to compare the two. So, to all of my 'more than one child' parents out there, I feel you, I know how difficult it is and you are doing a GREAT job. Don't beat yourself up when you've messed up. Don't feel bad when you have to say 'no' or you have to compromise for the sake of giving your other children a chance or some choices as well. The world doesn't revolve around each individual child but you ARE their world and they rely on you and your actions toward them. Being in the moment is a day to day task. Being the best you can be is subjective to each parent. Being a loving parent is all you can do even when the wiser think otherwise.
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