Guilt Free Parent: A Project

It's one of the most commonly written about, talked about, shared or plain old hated emotions in parenting:  Guilt.  

Most parents are. so. over. it.  I know I am.

You can read on how to deal with it in many parenting magazines and just about every other outlet imaginable.  Cheri Neufeld wrote a great piece about it on Simple Mom and I quote her here:

"In order to live in freedom, we need to let go of the expectations we have of ourselves and our lives, take steps to change the things we can, and try to enjoy every moment."

Whether it's mom guilt OR dad guilt, it's a living and breathing nuisance.  

I struggle with it.  My friends struggle with it.  Just about every 'single' mom OR dad I know, struggles with it.

What's worse is when parents begin to attack one another about a million things:  SAHMs vs. Working Moms (vice versa) or Breast feed vs. Bottle feed or Birth choices or just about anything under the sun.

So what do we do?

Here's a proposition:  Instead of trying to repress the 'guilt', I say we should DO whatever it is that we'd 'potentially' FEEL guilty about and ALLOW ourselves to revel in it and turn it into a 'guilt free' ANYTHING.

Yes, go DO that guilt infused ANYTHING and say to yourself:
Today I (blank) and (blank) and I do NOT feel guilty about it.    


It can be a silly, serious or anything you deem 'guilt free' in your parenting style, decision or practices.

Anything.

Be it, taking a long shower, escaping ALONE somewhere, letting your kid eat brownies for breakfast (been there), actually enjoy getting dressed for work (if you work outside the home), making breakfast for dinner, taking a vacation either alone or with your significant other, not bathing your kids for a day or two or whatever, 'accidentally' tossing your kid's favorite (blank), having a smile from ear to ear when you send them off to school, not breastfeeding, loving your medicated birth, giving your toddler too much flavored milk boxes (me), do and go where YOU want to go as opposed to where your kids want to go, soaking up that spilt water on your car seat with that menstrual pad in your purse (you know it!), making them eatthedamnchickenalready because there are no other items on the dinner menu at home, etc.

*Words and thoughts are power* 

Will you join me in this?

Here's what YOU can do:

Write in ANYTHING you want to OWN as YOUR 'guilt free' moment and link up here in the *blog* comments below. Or you can e-mail me a pic of your 'captured' guilt free statement (as I did above) and I'll create a photo journal.  Be sure to write 'Guilt Free' in the RE: of your e-mail & send to vjubis@gmail.com

I'd like to make this a series called:
Guilt Free Parent: A Project To Help Us To Be Kinder To Ourselves.

I can definitely learn to be kinder to myself as a mom.  I'm quite sure that many other parents can empathize with these feelings.  The goal is to allow for moments of 'guilt free' pleasure no matter what that means to us.  We are all different but each of our experiences is unique and deserves validation.

There is no prize for this project.  There are no age or gender restrictions either.  Just be yourself.  If you choose to participate, thank you.

This will be an ongoing project.

My lovely mother in law shared a quote with me the other day:

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own."- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

We all deserve to be guilt free every now and again because we're not perfect but our love for ourselves and our children will always resonate in any language.  Beating ourselves or each other up with harsh words or thoughts does not help the cause.

Be love.

Be compassion.

Be *guilt free*