To BE?

Every kid is asked, 'What do you want 'to be' when you grow up?'  My personal take on this question is this: It can stifle a young person.

Why?  Because you don't have to BE anything to be important, loved and valued.

I don't ask my children this question nor do I pressure them to decide on a single thing about the future  because the only thing that they 'need' to 'be' right now is a child full of life, wonder and curiosity.
This is what 'being' is (to me.)

I was asked what I wanted 'to be' as a child.  These are my stages of 'to be.'

At age 11, I wanted to a Lawyer.  I 'knew' that going to 'Law School' would give me the ability to defend the rights of children and help those in real need.  My desire to study law arose from my need to prove something to those who'd otherwise think that I'd turn out like my mother, i.e., married several times and have children from different men with zero education to fall back on.
Not the case.  (no pun intended)

At age 13, I admired Barbara Walters and her stories on 20/20.  I decided that I wanted to be a 'Journalist' because I felt that being a journalist meant that the stories that I'd tell would somehow impact people on a personal level and bring out the endearing quality of the human condition.

At age 18 I wrote my first children's story, 'Gordo the Green Penguin' (I still have it.)
I never knew that I had a children's story in me.  I surprised myself.
A couple of years later I decided that I wanted to be a 'Writer of children's books.'  I wanted to color a children's world with the canvas that I never enjoyed or imagined because being a child only happens once.  I wanted to capture the essence of innocence through a tender story.

I didn't become a lawyer or a journalist or a children's story book writer.  I do still desire to write children's books (I will!).

I write.      

I believe that my purpose for writing is first for the absolute LOVE it and second, I think that perhaps through my words, I will inevitably touch the lives of those who find some resonance with my thoughts, ideas and creativity.

Still, it doesn't matter because I'm happy being myself, raw, open, honest and real.

Whatever it is that my children end up doing when they become adults is not up to me.  I can only wish that whatever it ultimately is, makes their hearts happy.  I can only continue to inspire their senses and spark their creativity in subtle ways.  This is all I want for them.

What am I?  I am a writer, from the heart.