Daughters: Raising strength & compassion

Before I ever had children, I often thought of how difficult it was being a woman in this world.  Women have been oppressed, repressed, objectified, abused and belittled, among many other things.

I've especially thought about the 'war on women's choice' that is upon us.  As a woman who values my body and the incredible ways that it can grow 'life', I take great offense to individuals, groups, ideologies and anyone else that feels that they have a right to decide how or what I (we women) 'choose' to do with it.  Namely, our uterus'.

I have three daughters — three.  One day they will be deciding and choosing the same things that I chose as a young girl, a young woman and now a mother with respect to their body and reproductive system.  It is my duty to raise and teach each one of my daughters body awareness, body acceptance and respect toward themselves.  They will know that they too have choices that are no one else's responsibility but their own.

In addition, I must also make them aware of the grim reality of sexual abuse.  This is never an easy topic but it MUST be spoken about and explained.  My daughters know that 1 in 3 girls is sexually abused.  My daughters know that 90% of sexual abuse comes from a known and trusted friend or family member.  They know that their own mother has put great effort and awareness into peeling away her own layers of shame from being a victim of abuse.  I did it for them and for the many that have yet to shed that skin.  My daughters know this because I have been open and honest with them about the facts.  They know that their bodies belong to them and no one else.

I am a feminist mother.  What I mean by this is that I am shaping and changing the norms of motherhood by raising strong and compassionate daughters.  I am a mother who cares about the well being of others. I am a mother who knows that motherhood brings forth opportunities, insights and allows us to strip down to the raw self.  I am a mother who wants her daughters to know that it does not matter what you choose in this life so long as you choose it with passion and heart.  I am a mother who values and admires all walks of life because every single one of us matters.  This altruism only exemplifies my passion for change and acceptance of women globally.  My daughters are watching and listening and mimicking my actions.  They will one day bring this to the world.

Compassion is holding a hand out for a rape victim. Compassion is comforting a child you did not birth.  Compassion is listening to the pain of a mother who has lost her child. Compassion is easing the angst of a woman who chose to abort her child for reasons that most would not understand and letting her know, "It's okay." Compassion is not damning the choice of others because they do not concord with your own. Compassion is what connects each and every one of us as a whole. Compassion is Universal and it speaks the same language globally.  We simply have to listen and feel it.  Be it.

"For real change, we need feminine energy in the management of the world. We need a critical number of women in positions of power, and we need to nurture the feminine energy in men."- Isabel Allende

Compassion and strength go hand in hand.  My daughters will have the strength to know that we women have the power to make great changes in the world along with the compassion to bring forth unity, acceptance and love.

"Compassion, from birth, is in our blood." -Dalai Lama

What I am doing now is what will shape the women they will inevitably become.  I am authentic in my actions.

They will have choices to make.  I will tell them that their voice matters.

They will face difficult decisions and adversity.  I will tell them that no matter the challenge they may have to face, if they have enough will and courage, they will succeed, sometimes with no applause.

In the world we live in today it is of the utmost importance that my daughters realize and own that being vulnerable is NOT weakness because without vulnerability there is no change.  I want them to be free to express their thoughts, creativity and talents without feeling the stigma of being labeled 'woman.'

"Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage."- Brené Brown  

This is not to say that all men are stifling women and girls.  I am not about the vilifying of all men.  My daughters are fortunate to have a father that encourages, embraces and celebrates the incredible minds and efforts of his daughters and women as a whole.  He is the epitome of compassion toward the feminine.  Him having an incredibly talented, intelligent and graceful mother himself lends to one of the reasons why he is this way.  His mother was raised by a progressive and feminine embracing father. Her father honored her strengths and place in this world as a woman.  She was lucky like my daughters are.

I am a skeptic.  I question most things.  I trust few.  The one thing I know for sure is that compassion is strong and women have an amazing talent to nurture themselves and grow from even the most unfortunate of situations. We begin this journey by being mothered and perhaps later mothering our own children and ourselves.  Even if the mothering you received wasn't stellar or admirable or even worth telling, the seed of our worth was planted and nurtured in some magical way.  I am proof of this.

My daughters are the future.  My daughters carry the flame that keeps the fires of humanity alive because without their miraculous organ of the uterus and their passionate hearts and compassionate souls and expressive creativity, this world would be at a great loss for the potential of what 'women' and humanity as a whole can bring forth.

I owe it to my daughters to be all the things that most people have said I could not DO or BE because courage begins with allowing oneself to be vulnerable.  I am raising an example of who I know all women can be. Strength and compassion inevitably follow along for the remainder of our purpose in this world.

"In the human experience, the relationship between a mother and her child is the closest to compassion."- Osho  

I am mothering and raising and expressing myself for the girls of this world, for the daughters of this world, for the women of this world, for my paternal and maternal ancestors, for me and for them, my own daughters.