···Mama Scribble···

Crayon Characters

"It's so quiet." Luna says to me.

"Yes, it is." I respond.

It's just her and I here at home. She's working on a Kindergarten workbook while sitting at the dining room table with me. At the center of the glass table, a sandalwood scented candle is lit.
Warm notes of vanilla and musk collide with the sandalwood and waft in the air.

I look at her, her little hands, her perfectly clean nails, the way she carefully grips the pencil in her right hand. She loves to write. She's practicing her alphabet. She's writing the letter 'P' over and over and over again.

Luna's energy and presence is ethereal to me.

Her box of crayons sits opened in front of her thick workbook. She's just taken a three minute break and ate a small bowl of vanilla goat yogurt I recently served her.

Luna choosing

The silence in the house is meditative. Luna begins to softly hum the tune to a 1920's song off of a CD I purchased at Starbuck's some months back called, 'Speak Easy.'

She loves music. Lyrics stick to her mind like molasses.

She often hums a tune or sings a random lyric she's made up when she's focused. Her methodical inclinations and disciplined nature remind me of her grandfather, Oscar. I think she gets these two qualities from him. My husband and I have agreed on this.

I admire this quality in both my daughter and father-in-law.

I get up and walk toward our book shelf. It's a fourteen foot wide freestanding bookshelf brimming with books. The right side belongs to my husband. The left side, mine. This arrangement just happened this way.

Our books

I'm looking for a writing reference book.

"I like the silence, mama."

"Yes, me too!"

"Silence is peace." She adds.

I smile as I run my index finger across the spines of the books, reading the titles with my head cocked to the left, 'Write is a Verb', 'Hooked', 'Plot & Structure', 'Character Traits', 'Dialogue', 'How to write a book proposal.'

"I agree." I respond back.

I walk back empty-handed to my chair at the dining room table. Luna is choosing the next crayon to color her picture of a rocket ship with.

"This orange looks a little red, right mama?" She says as she raises the crayon for me to see it.

"Kind of. It's like a burnt orange." I tell her.

I watch her color her picture. The back and forth strokes of the crayon to paper sounds like the sweeping of cement, subtle and deliberate.

How easy it looks to color a page? You choose a crayon, your crayon kisses the page and a color appears.

My thoughts remind me of my novel characters. They sit quietly. Waiting. Sometimes, my characters are like crayons you'd select from a box. Most of the time, they select me and then I must color my writing canvas with the colors of their world.

Still, I sit and watch my Luna color her page in perfect silence. She IS peace.

An Open Letter to Parents

Dear Fellow Parents,

I've found that being a parent has its rewards and struggles. Not everyday is a lovely, happy, exciting or spectacular day.

Then there are days that you feel like you're walking on a happy cloud, completely sober and actually enjoying every single moment with your child(ren). I love these days. I want to savor and soak up every single ounce of it.

Parenting is hard. We love our children like we've never loved a living creature on earth before.
We wish upon them all the beauty and love that this life has to offer.

We make mistakes along the way.

I was raised by an emotionally absent mother and my father was absent from my life until I was seventeen. I had to make the best of my situation. It was not easy. Still, I love both of my parents and forgive their mistakes. I'm no better than anyone else out there. We all have a story to tell, some worse than others.

But this is not about my story, no, this is about parents as a whole.

I'm often struck at the level of unkindness and judgments that are placed upon parents.
Parents are not perfect in any way shape or form. Parents are regular people trying to make the best decisions for their children.

There seems to be a giant void in the circle of parents. This void encompasses all of our fears, challenges, struggles, inadequacies and insecurities. These emotions are not easy for most of us.
We are complex in every way.

My question to most parents out there is this: Who are WE to judge other parents?

Why?

How does judging our fears, challenges, struggles, inadequacies and insecurities make us better parents?

Why?

How does kicking another parent when they're down make us better than them?

This makes me hurt. This makes me sad. This makes me question my fellow parents' level of love and compassion toward me and other parents.

I believe that every parent may face an incredibly challenging, scary or even life altering moment at some point in their parenting lives. If and when this happens, parents will come looking for other parents' support and compassion, no matter what our differences may be.

I'd like to know that no matter our differences in parenting styles, disciplinary choices, rearing choices, etc., that parents as a whole will *try* to embrace a broader level of compassion and love toward one another.

No one will ever know what it's like to live in another parents' shoes because we are all unique in our own ways. No one will ever truly know our own children the way we the parents do.

Parents, let's be a bit kinder toward one another.

Parent's, let's be more compassionate toward one another.

Parents, let's be more respectful toward one another.

Parents, let's SHOW our children that we can live in a world where there are many differences but the one thing that speaks a universal language is LOVE and COMPASSION.

Sincerely & Compassionately,

My Top 5 Down Sides of Parenting

Parenting. It brings about a whirlwind of positives and negatives.

Sometimes the negatives can really be a let down (no, not breast milk.)

I love my children, but after having three, there have been moments where

I literally want to yank my hair out. No. Joke.

Yes, I know, it comes with the territory but sometimes these moments call for a nice

glass of ANY red wine or white wine because frankly, I like my hair.

Here are my top 5 down sides to parenting (in no particular order.)

Image via Google

1. Potty Panic...

You're finally out the door and on your way to that way overdue grocery shopping. You can't take another day of canned sardines. You look through your rear view mirror and are happy to see your beautiful children smiling and carrying on in their car seats when out of the

wee corner of the backseat you hear, "I have to go pee!"

THIS is what I call 'potty panic', yes,

because this shit puts me in a friggin' frenzy.

Of course, I end up asking the same stupid question of,

'WHY didn't you go BEFORE we left the house??" (nose flaring and buggy eyed)

Which of course the answer is ALWAYS "I didn't have to go before."

Makes me want to just have them pee themselves. Ugh.

Image via Google

2. Sibling Bickering...

There is nothing worse than trying to intervene in my children's bickering. I don't know if it's a girl thing but their level of loudness is way too much on the ear drums. They. Are. Loud.

"StopitnowbecauseotherwiseI'mnotgoingtogetyouthatwhateverthingyouwanted!"

Is what I sound like.

Image via Google

3. Brushing Battles...

I can probably play an entire game of 'Words with Friends' with the many times

I have to ask the girls to "go brush your teeth."

What is it with kids and not wanting to go brush their teeth when their asked?

I don't get it. It's like, pulling teeth!

Image via Google

4. The Nighttime Thirst

It never fails to happen, this one.

You tuck them in bed, give them their hugs and kisses,

tell them how much you love them

and wish them 'sweet dreams.'

You leave the room door ajar and finally go and plop yourself on the couch next to

your partner, significant other or your cat or dog. You choose a flick or TV show, you exhale in exhaustion and then a little voice calls out, "I'm thirsty!"

What the F*ck??

Image via Google

5. Fried Brain...

I give you, your NEW brain.

This is your brain on PARENTING because no matter what we say or do

or don't say or don't do, the results are the same. We. Feel. Completely. Fried.

Sunny side up, anyone?

The End.

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The 7 Things About Blogging

There are some things I'd like to share about blogging.

I didn't go to school to become a 'blogger' but I did get a nice degree for other talents, thrice.

Blogging is a job description in and of itself. It deserves merit, recognition and respect.

I'd like to hope that through my blogging I'm either inspiring, encouraging, sharing, divulging

or simply allowing for someone to delve into my world.

Blogging IS a world that encompasses so many things.

Here are seven of my blogging observations:

1. Lonely...

Blogging can be a lonely task.

Although my children are always around me, I'm basically doing this alone.

I don't ask any of them for their input because, well, it's a complicated issue.

They'd say, 'mommy is always at her computer.'

Source

2. Lurkers...

Blogging brings about the inevitable. The lurkers. Yes, many many lurkers out there that LOVE to come to your blog (yes, we know who you are—our stats give us your websites) and simply peek around not leaving a comment or even say "Hi, I came, I saw. Good-bye." :)

(smiley faces are good too!)

Source

3. 'Open Book'

Blogging is what the cliché idiom of 'An open book' would be.

Here, I share my life, my struggles, my fears, my challenges and many photos of myself and my children. As do MANY other bloggers I admire, read, follow and continue to visit.