When the mundane grounds you...

It was a spur of the moment kind of outing. The day was gorgeous and the girls were adventurous.

I wasn't feeling too spritely but I went with it... for the sake of the girls. 

Too much crap in my head and too little time to sort though 'some' of it. 

The beach just seemed like a positive choice in spite of my blah-ness. 

While the older two frolicked in the water, my little one stayed close to me.  

She didn't care too much about water play plus the warm sun felt nice on our backs.  

She hated the sand. "Yucky sand, mama!" she said.

I sat back and watched and captured the tiny moments that sometimes escape us.  

Beads of sand tucking themselves between tiny fingers.  The thought made me smile. 

A small moment that made me happy.  

I offered her raspberries.    

The delight on her face reminded me of how lucky I am to be her mother.

Depression isn't always a 'pretty' word because 

the stigma that attaches itself to it seems bigger than the issue itself.  It is what it is.  

There are good days, bad days, awful days, slow days, 

happy days and seemingly normal days. 

It is what it is.  

The sand on their toes made them giggle. The wind in their faces made them glow even more.  

The sight of all this was medicine to my soul.  

The wonder of their childhood brings me peace and allows me to heal in strange ways.  

Sometimes the healing hurts even more than the memory 

but other times it exhales this sort of relief that I cannot articulate.  

Do you follow? 

The connection of sisters.  They will have each other, always.  

I can only wish that no matter what they may experience in their lifetime 

that they'll always turn to each other and hold one another up 

with love and appreciation for the simple fact that they are sisters.  

In my heart, I am an only child but I have cultivated parts of me through others that care.

She made herself a sand scrub for her legs.  I thought this clever and resourceful of her. 

I love that smile... 

I don't know what she's thinking but I'm thinking that there is no other place I'd rather be than right here with them soaking up the sun and being free and breathing easily.  

Each day I'm handed a gift to breathe and be in this life.  

My daughter was handing me her miniature shells she had just combed from the shoreline.  

The simple joy of something so mundane grounded me, once again.  

Many times I float away and get carried off in thoughts that sometimes consume my being 

and don't allow me to treasure these small moments.  These are the moments that count.  

These are the moments that remind me that no matter what is ruminating in my overactive mind, 

there is peace and magic and solace in the mundane.  

I may get caught up in my own troubles and roller coaster highs and lows 

but I don't want to ever lose sight of this.  

This life.  This moment.  This gift.  This time.  

I am always grateful for this chance to be peace and love and wonder 

at the very edge of the earth, with my daughters.