First grade seems like a world of possibilities to a child. They feel like they're 'Big Kids' and not the babies. My eldest is in 1st grade. Until recently she was in a wonderful little Montessori styled school and she absolutely loved the compassionate, loving, nurturing, nature involvement, un-structured flow and practice of the school. It was a perfect fit for her and for us as her parents. Our ideas about how children learn and the approach that a Montessori school takes was exactly what we were aiming for.
As all good things come, they must go as well. This wonderful school was no longer a financial possibility for my husband and I to afford every single month. No, it's not easy to spend $1,377.00 per month for two children to attend a lovely little Montessori school. Yes, I am a firm believer in 'you get what you pay for' but in this case, I had to make a tough choice. I wish it were different but it is what it is.
So while the Public School may be free, one does pay a price for the emotional well being of the child. Of course, not every child is the same and some are more resilient than others, yada, yada, yada. But there is always that lingering reminder that your child is the one that may be having a difficult time. It IS my child who is not accustomed to the 'cookie cutter' system that these teachers have no choice but to follow. In a classroom of 18 to 21 children, how can one teacher possibly give every single child the proper attention, compassion and patience? I get it, I understand that it's difficult. My child has been branded the child who is 'behind', the 'homeschooled', and more recently, the 'one whose used to Montessori learning.' They don't say these things but I see it in their expressions and double standard comments like 'Oh there is a big difference with private and public'.
My daughter came home crying after her first day at Public School. She was bawling and begging to go back to Montessori school and I of course, felt like the worst parent in the entire world for being the person to make the decision for her to become part of the 'system'. She said, 'I hate that school and I don't like the teacher! She yells at all the children all the time, Mommy'. This broke my heart because I tried to give her an honest picture of how different it would be for her but you can't articulate the pure emotion to a seven year old. She ended up telling the teacher herself, 'We need to include more art in the lessons' and 'I need to go outside and play because I can think better'. She had no qualms in expressing her needs (thank goodness because I was always a quiet and scared kid).
It's a terrible predicament to be in. Not all Public School teachers will be sensitive enough to engage in the proper way with each child. Not every teacher will have the patience to adhere to different learning styles. Not every child is the same but somehow they're expected to all be little robots, in a way. Not all teachers are the same either, I get that.
The biggest challenge for my child is the issue of recess. Several times a week the teacher will negate the childrens' outside playtime because of disruptive behavior by some or all. Again, I understand that kids will get rambunctious and it will inevitably become difficult to calm all 18 to 21 children down but it almost seems counter productive to punish the children with no recess. If there is anything I've learned from being a parent of 3 (even if you have only 1) is that kids NEED to go outside to vent, breath, expel ENERGY, ENERGY, ENERGY! Being an adult stuck indoors is difficult, imagine a child?! So, I don't agree with using recess punishment to coax the children to behave or finish their work. It's almost as if the system is teaching our child to abhor school and their rules.
I want my child to have a positive experience and to continue to love learning. The worst part is that my husband and I are probably the minority in this situation because most parents want their child's accomplishments to be so incredibly high that they loose sight of what's more important, letting the child be a child. It's that simple. There was a great article in the New York Times about recess recently, check it out if you're interested.
We all want the very best for our children and sometimes we have little choice in how we will deliver it to them. In the meantime, I will do my job of continuing to provide a loving home for my child and imparting to her what is most important to me which is for her to be happy, free and enjoy life even when we have to go through not so happy things.
Vanessa
