The beat of it

heart │härt│noun
・the heart, regarded as the center of a person's thoughts and emotions, esp. love or compassion.


The heart beats to keep us alive.  It pumps to maintain a flow in our miraculous and mysterious system we call the human body.

We worry about the heart if it falters.  Other things can become compensated but the heart... the heart must remain fierce.  No matter what, the heart is and will always be a vital organ.

But the heart is also a symbol of love.

A symbol of compassion.

A symbol of deep rooted emotions in terms of the self.

When a force is bigger than one can handle, it is the heart that takes the brunt of it.

It is also the heart that drives us to do great things.

When a person does something out of malice or contempt, it is not done with heart.
No, the heart cannot sustain such power.  

The heart can only deliver love and compassion and joy and bliss.  This is what I believe.

It can hold sorrow.  It can hold sadness.  It can hold regret.  It can even hold unbearable grief.
If it tries to hold hate, it only remains in a state of toxic energy and the beat of it changes.

The beat of the heart becomes different.  Not rhythmic, you see, because what becomes absent is so vital to the heart that it slowly withers into itself and only ends up providing the necessary purpose to keep one alive.

What happens to the passion?  What happens to the love?  What happens to the joy and the bliss and the compassion towards the simple things that makes the heart sing and beat in a certain way?

It is lost.

It is absent.

The heart is not content.

When you do what you love, your heart feels it.  When you show someone you love them, your heart feels it.  When you pray for someone you love, your heart feels it.

When you wish upon someone the most beautiful things this life can offer, your heart feels it.
When you hold your baby for the very first time, your heart feels it.

When you kiss someone you love for the very last time, your heart feels it.
When you've been given a gift that has no monetary value, your. heart. feels. it.

Things that come from the heart are powerful and majestic.

When I feel like things could not get any worse or better, I know that no matter what, my heart will continue to beat the way it has for a very long time.  It's the beat of it that makes this feeling so very special.

I do things with heart because otherwise, what's the point?

The 7 Things About Blogging

There are some things I'd like to share about blogging.  

I didn't go to school to become a 'blogger' but I did get a nice degree for other talents, thrice.

Blogging is a job description in and of itself.  It deserves merit, recognition and respect.  

I'd like to hope that through my blogging I'm either inspiring, encouraging, sharing, divulging 

or simply allowing for someone to delve into my world.  

Blogging IS a world that encompasses so many things. 

Here are seven of my blogging observations:

1. Lonely...

Blogging can be a lonely task.  

Although my children are always around me, I'm basically doing this alone.  

I don't ask any of them for their input because, well, it's a complicated issue.  

They'd say, 'mommy is always at her computer.'  

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2. Lurkers...

Blogging brings about the inevitable.  The lurkers.  Yes, many many lurkers out there that LOVE to come to your blog (yes, we know who you are—our stats give us your websites) and simply peek around not leaving a comment or even say "Hi, I came, I saw. Good-bye." :) 

(smiley faces are good too!)

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3. 'Open Book'

Blogging is what the cliché idiom of 'An open book' would be.  

Here, I share my life, my struggles, my fears, my challenges and many photos of myself and my children.  As do MANY other bloggers I admire, read, follow and continue to visit.  

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4. Outlet...

Blogging is an easy outlet for me and many, I presume.  

It's a place where you can be as vulgar, eloquent, sincere, confessional, 

honest or just plain silly.  You make the rules and you write as you please.  

If someone doesn't like it, they can simply stop reading you.  Period.  

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5. Crickets...

The one aspect of blogging that is bound to happen is the sound of, 

yes, you guessed it, the crickets.  

It happens to the best of us and worst of us.  

You pour your ♥ into a post and then...crickets! 

I simply cannot take it personally when I continue to see the page views go up but still, 

no comments.  Waaaaaa!! It's quite okay. 

Some people simply have 'screen freight', I get it.  No worries.  

Carry on little crickets, your music is so lovely...♪♬♭♬♪♪♩♬

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6. Spam?  No, thank you.  

All bloggers will attest to receiving way too much SPAM.  

No, non-perishables don't fit in our inboxes.

More like the type that gets other 'meats' working, ahem, 'Viagra.' 

SPAM. Is. So. Annoying.  

Image via Google

7. The love of it...

The bottom line to all this is: I blog because I simply LOVE it.  Period.  

Writing is my PASSION.  

I love to share my thoughts with the world because creativity is a living, breathing creature within me.  

Image via Google 

*I was not paid or compensated for this post.  All opinions belong to me.*

2011: I reflect

The end of this year is quickly approaching (22 days to be exact.)  Once again, I find myself remembering the moments and episodes in my life that have made an impact during this year.

2011 represents a powerful year so far.

For me, the number eleven stands like two pillars of strength, hope, determination and great accomplishments.  A year of incredible gifts and love...

Of all the changes that have evolved within me, the most powerful one of was 'voicing' my silence of sexual abuse.  This one act took courage and my need to begin my healing journey.  Interestingly, several months before this life changing moment took place, I discovered my voice as a writer through drafting my first novel as my Master's Thesis.  Soon there after, I was published on Babble.  Ecstatic cannot describe the feeling.  

I continue to reflect.

I reflect on the moments I was too hard on myself or the moments I needed to push a little harder to rise up to the next step or the times I felt that I could no longer cope with certain inalienable truths.

I reflect on the simple pleasures I experienced alongside my loving husband, curled up next to him on the couch watching a film or making dirty martini's in our kitchen, barefoot, half dressed and listening to The Rolling Stones.  Mundane and momentous moments...

I reflect on my incredible daughters and the lessons they have taught me.  The way they love me, treasure me and 'see' me for what I am and not for what has ever 'happened' to me.  They reward me with comments like, 'Mommy, it's okay to make mistakes' (Luna-6) or 'Mommy, you're the best even if you think you are not...' (Sabrina-7) and 'Mommy, I 'lub' you 'sho' much!' (Kalina-3)

I reflect on the moments that counted as my moments of arrival and growth.  Much growth has germinated within me.

This year has brought forth a different me.  A 'me' I never knew could live in this skin.  This has been the year I stopped shrinking.

For once, I've doubted less and less and I've embraced more each time.  

I started sprouting and growing and becoming braver and compassionate.  I am garnished in love and awareness for the mundane.

I like the 'her' I see.  Actually, I love 'her.'  This 'me' that bewilders and amazes my senses is the person I've been trying to understand and have allowed her to finally blossom.

I've arrived.

There was a time when all I could see was mud all around me.  No water.  No clarity.  No renewal.  

But I now know this...

Where there is mud there is water and the water that I have discovered and cleansed the mud away with has restored and nurtured what I thought was missing forever.

My 'self.'