Heads or tails?

Today was just one of those 'do I have to really do this, again?' days.

I'm groggy and I haven't placed my feet on the cold floor yet and I'm already getting the "Mommy, nurse!" request from Little Miss K beside me (while she pokes at my boob-Ouch!).  Then Luna slowly creeps into my bedroom whispering to me "Mommy, Sabrina has something on her pillow!"  I'm up and out of bed in two seconds flat.  I discover that there are blood splotches all over Sabrina's pillow.

I don't panic (Investigator Mama mode is on).

I check her nose.  Nothing.  I check her ears.  Nothing.  I check her head.  Nada! What the hell?? 

Then...

Ah-ha!

The cause?  A loose tooth and her night time thumb sucking.  How did I know?  I don't know? (Moms are just cool that way).  Mystery solved and the victim didn't care either way.  

Then came the two, three, four, and five time requests of: "Go pee", "Take off your P.J's", "Brush your teeth", and "Get dressed"

Patience?  Next to zero this morning.  

Little confession. I haven't showered in two days (yes, I did change my underpants-I'm not that gross, geese!).  Does a washcloth with lavender oil sprinkled on it count as a pseudo-shower?  

Come on, that was the best I could do! 

  

In between figuring out what each one wants for breakfast (one PB& J sandwich and two bowls of vanilla goat yogurt), 'Handy Manny' blaring on the tube, the dog asking for food, re-braiding each of their hair, packing their lunch boxes, chasing the little one around the house to get her droopy diaper off, and a head to toe 'full water' shower for me (whoo-hoo!), we're out the door, FINALLY.  

My new motto: Parenting: Showers optional (sometimes not possible).  

The girls get to school past 10am (thank goodness it's a quaint laid back school) and I'm off to Target with Little Miss K.  

Now what comes next my friends was the "Who the hell am I to complain about MY life today" moment:

After doing my Target shopping I get in line to pay and start putting my things on the conveyer belt.  Little Miss K is happily entertained with a LeapFrog laptop toy (I had no intention on buying it for her-it simply bought me 'tantrum free' time-Evil!).  Then I hear these strange grunts and squeals coming from one register across from me.  I inconspicuously look over and see a fairly young woman (40ish) and her son. The sounds were coming from him.  He is her disabled child.  He starts to give her a mini tantrum while she is standing in line to pay.  He's trying to take his shirt off.  She's gently explaining to him that he can't.  He doesn't understand.  He's frustrated.  She's is calm.  She is confident.  People are looking.  My heart is sinking.   My little one is still quietly entertained (thankfully).  Her exchange with her son went something like this:

Mother: "Come on, let's go.  Walk ahead."

Son: (grunts, moans).

Mother:  "Oliver, come with Mom.  Come help me push the buttons to pay."

The cashier says 'hello' to Oliver.

Mother: "Say 'hello' Oliver."

Son: (grunts).

Mother (to the cashier):  "He's fifteen.  He likes to help push these buttons on the key pad with me."

Turns to her son.

"Right, Oliver?"

The love and patience for her son poured out of her like a cascade of flowers.  I wanted to hug her and tell her how amazing she was.  

Today is the day that all my woes seem like nothing next to this amazing Mom (Oliver's Mom).  Today is the day that I am humbled by this mother's strength, love, compassion and patience.  Today is the day that I say with an open heart, "Hats off to EVERY parent out there with a special needs child-no matter the severity" because these parents have it two hundred zillions times harder than we with 'normal' children do.  Oliver's Mother cannot roll out of bed care-free today or any day.  She is a parent in high demand, no exceptions.  She chooses to mother in awareness and love.  I choose the same things for my children too but sometimes (actually, a lot of times) I fall off the bandwagon and get caught up with my own shit and lose sight of what really matters.  Then there are moments when another person's reality places your feet back on the ground and jolts you back from stupidity.  Today was my day.  

When we choose to have a child, it's a gamble.  Heads or tails?  Who knows? We don't know what we're going to get but when our heart and soul is in it 'unconditionally', no matter what the outcome, circumstance or situation is bestowed upon us, that is when you get to experience or witness the true act of being SELFLESS.