I Am NOT Supermom but I AM Mom Enough

The other day I was feeling overwhelmed, consumed and simply up to my neck with everything around me so I updated my personal Facebook page to read this:

There were more threads of people who commented (I just didn't snap the entire screen shot.)

You may say: 'Ok, fine. No big deal.' 

Now this comes as no surprise but you know what I noticed, yet again? That every single mother out there is practically in the same boat as me.

We're all struggling to keep our sanity, our homes in order, our kids fed and bathed and ALIVE, our life in some semblance of balance, yet we still put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves no matter how many times we know this fact: "I'm NOT supermom."

I second guess my parenting decisions, DAILY. But I'm doing my BEST.
I worry that I'm scarring my kids in some emotional way, DAILY.  But I'm doing my BEST.
I struggle with feeling inadequate as a mother, DAILY.  But I'm doing my BEST.
I don't know what each day will bring me. But I'm doing my BEST.

There are so many other ridiculous things that would take up this entire post but I just don't want to do that to you. Follow?

Repeat after me, "I. Am. NOT. Supermom. But. I. AM. Mom. Enough."

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Here's one thing I KNOW for sure: There is no RIGHT way or WRONG way to parent. Period.

We're parents. We make mistakes, we do wonderful and not so wonderful things, we learn, we cry, we praise, we support, we give, we receive, we love and we're HUMAN.

Human.

So when TIME Magazine published their cover that read, "Are You Mom Enough?" along with the blogger, Jamie Lynne Grumet and her 'standing' breastfeeding toddler, I wasn't so much offended by the fact that a three-year-old was nursing but more about the hook and posture of the entire image.

Mom enough? Really?

Stooped on a chair, nursing? Really? No breastfeeding mother I know nurses her toddler in this fashion.  It's absurd and contradictory with how nursing a toddler is really done.  

I was baffled.

TIME got what they wanted. A seriously heated debate.

It has taken me days to let the rage settle and the hurt to subside. Rage because this depiction is insane. Hurt because I'm simply tired of yet another media incited 'mommy war' to take on another stab at ALL mothers.

This is a stab to every mother on this planet. Why? Because here is another tactic to cause 'the great debate' over parenting styles.

Just to be clear, I embrace, practice and advocate home-birthing, attachment parenting, long-term breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing and pretty much all the other 'unconventional' parenting practices.  It doesn't matter to me what parenting style you embrace or practice for your child so long as you're not judging and placing a stigma on the ones that differ from yours.

Who am I to judge or criticize any mother or her choices?

My mother was not an attached parent and did not breastfeed me or my four sisters. She parented me as best she could. I'm okay with this.

This is not about good mom/bad mom. If you ask me, that term should not even exist because if you're a mom, you're simply doing your best. Period.

What is grossly missing in today's society with respect to mothers as a whole is one simple thing:

Compassion.

There is zero compassion for the working mom.
There is zero compassion for the breastfeeding mom.
There is zero compassion for the formula feeding mom.
There is zero compassion for the mentally ill mom.
There is zero compassion for the mother who has a baby as a result of rape or incest.
There is zero compassion for the mother who gave her baby up for adoption.
There is zero compassion for the stay-at-home-mom.
There is zero compassion for the mother who turned away for a split second and lost sight of her child.
There is zero compassion for the lesbian mom.
There is zero compassion for the single mom.
There is zero compassion for the artificially inseminated and unmarried mom.
There is zero compassion for the mother who had an elective c-section.
There is zero compassion for the mother who chose to terminate her pregnancy.
There is zero compassion for the mother who forgot her baby in a heated car.
There is zero compassion for mothers. Period.

Yes, I strongly believe that there is little to no compassion in the areas I listed above and many, many more.

If mothers continue trekking down this 'mommy war' road then how does this shed a positive example for our children?  What will our children think of all this drama? How are we shaping their impression of motherhood, moms, mom culture and parenting collectively?

I think we need to start with extending a heck of a lot more compassion in ALL areas of mothering, motherhood, parenting and the like.

Let's BE compassionate toward each other.

My friend and editor over at ShePosts, Kristen Howerton, wrote a phenomenal piece on her blog, Rage Against the Minivan, where she brings up an undeniable and important factor in the mom world:
"Where is the Mommy War for the Motherless Child?", just read it and you'll see.

Her points are mind-blowing and her tone is just what the world NEEDS to hear.
These are the 'wars' I applaud, back-up and am the first one to stand up and shout for.
Thank you, Kristen!

While I and most of us moms are not supermoms, I can proudly say and with smug smile, we ARE mom enough.  Period.