Sisters...

My four maternal sisters at my wedding 2003
(left to right)
Melissa, Michelle, Me, Carie & Mercy

I have three Daughters.  Yes, THREE Daughters!  And, so?  Um-hm! Oh please tell us, Vanessa, what does that mean?  Three Daughters basically means that I have three of everything to deal with.  Three times the whining.  Three times the bickering.  Three times the, Mom! (So and So) touched me!, Mom! (So and So) looked at me!, Mom! (So and So) put a booger in my hair! Three times the girly-girl, life is coming to a stand still, hold the phone, what just happened?, DRAMA.  Period.

Daughters are lovely, and sweet and adorable and all but they are also SO very emotionally draining.  When they're not arguing in the background of my husband and I trying to watch a flick, they're whacking each other over the head because someone tore the head off the other's Polly Pocket.

The dynamic of three little girls is nothing less than, Oh my fucking goodness! What the hell did I get into?!  Seriously, I feel like this often because it's almost surreal to witness the amount of high intensity and sheer panic these little darlings emit in less than twenty seconds flat! UNREAL!

Okay, okay, all the drama aside, these three little girls of mine are true Sisters.  It's the law of Sisters, I suppose.  You know, to fight, to argue, to yell at to then make up, laugh again, hug each other and love one another no matter what.  It's what they do.  It's how they live with one another.  It's how they love each other day after day in spite of the bickering and yelling and the tearing off of each others Polly Pocket doll heads.  I get it.

I have Sisters.  I have MANY Sisters.  I have four Sisters on my Mother's side and two Sisters on my Father's side.  Yes, you read that correctly, no lie.  Please, do explain, Vanessa... 

Well, it goes a little like this:  My Mother had two gorgeous little girls before me (I'm Daughter #3 on my Mom's side).  But I was Daughter #1 on my Father's side.  Follow?  So my Mother had me (her #3) and then another Daughter (her #4) and then another Daughter (her #5).  That covers Mom!

After I was born and my parents divorced, my Father went on to have a Son (his #2) and a Daughter (his #3) with his second marriage.  Then he got divorced (AGAIN), re-married and had two more after that, a Son (his #4) and a Daughter (his #5).  Did I lose you, because I may have lost my train of thought already?! But this is about Sisters! Okay, so, as I was saying...Basically, I'm the only child between my Mother and Father.  Here comes the BUT...But I have a relationship with at least four of the six Sisters I have.  Gee, isn't that nice! 

It's a little complicated because not all of them live in the same city or State as me.  Having so many siblings from different Fathers and Mothers makes things a little wacky, nevertheless.  I obviously wasn't raised with all of them (especially my Mother's first two) but that's a whole other story.  I was raised with my Mother's #4 and partially with her #5 (until she was two years old).  I never really felt like I had a real sibling because we never shared the same Father.  It's kind of a big deal having the same Mom but not the same Dad because there are so many disparities between the siblings.  It's difficult to explain.

In any case, having so many Sisters is interesting but difficult at the same time.  Why difficult?  If it were up to me, I would have extremely close relationships with ALL of them.  I've tried and I've failed miserably.  I would want to share my entire life with them without any emotional barriers.  The fact is, we all come with our own set of traumas and issues and bias'.  It's what comes with being partly related as Sisters.  I want to feel like I can count on any of them.  I probably feel like I can partly count on one or two of them, if that.  I love them all.  I miss them all and I wish that I could simply be a true Sister just like my own Daughters are with each other.

In the meantime, I'll continue to work on the relationships I have with the ones that try to have one with me.  I will always be open to the others because I have nothing keep and everything to share...

To all of my Sisters (M, M, C, M, L, A), I love you, I'm here and I will always be...

Openly,
Vanessa 


A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.- 
Isadora James~