I have a younger sister. Two, actually but I’m speaking of the one born after
me. She and I are six years, two months and 1 day apart.
The first thing I thought
of her when she was born was, ‘Her head is bigger than mine!’ and that she
looked Asian (not that Asian babies aren’t adorable.) As we grew up and she became increasingly annoying, I found
myself committing some really evil pranks on her, you know, just to mess
with her.
I was mean. No. Like. Really. Really. Mean. I used
to revel in watching her get grossed out and vomit after I'd run my saliva filled index finger under her nose. Once it
dried, that’s all she’d smell.
Nasty old saliva and I’d practically piss in my pants from the laughter. I was seven and she was two. Awful!
Another time I asked her to let me see her cavities and
quickly took her open mouth opportunity to ‘hauck a loogie’ right into it. She threw up. The grossest thing I’ve ever done. Seriously.
When she was six, I told her that the ‘Bride of Chucky’
would be visiting her at night because she liked her shoes. The look on her face was f**cking
priceless!
I’d say the ‘meanest’ moment was when I coaxed her into letting me
cut her hair in to layers with my school scissors. I wanted to practice artistry with her hair. I DID promise to give her any one of my
‘New Kids on the Block’ wall poster’s (yes, I was one of those silly 13 year
old girls squealing over Donnie.)
My hair cutting skills needed major improvement and then I changed my
mind about giving her that poster after all. She wore a hat to school the next day to cover up my 'artistry.' Awful!
I guess I really enjoyed the fact that I was six years two
months and one day older than her. My mom
never knew about most of the pranks because even if she went to ‘tattletale’,
I’d always come back with, “She’s lying, mom!” Terrible, terrible me.
My three sweet daughters are all relatively close in
age. The first two are twenty
months apart and the last two are almost three years apart. I figured that the closer they were in
age, the less they’d harass one another.
Puh-leeze! I was SO wrong! Age is totally irrelevant here. They taunt and tease each other just the same. So. Annoying. Ugh.
I’m REALLY hoping that my daughters don’t get ridiculously
creative with pranks against one another like I did to my poor little
sister. My sister and I STILL talk
about the crap I did to her.
No, I’m not proud of my ‘evil’ sister pranks but they
definitely bring on a great chuckle every now and again. I hope that my ‘slightly evil’ side
didn’t get transmitted to my daughters while in utero. In any event, my daughters have some pretty
large ‘evil’ shoes to fill!
I love my sister.
Always have and always will…
My sister and me, circa 2000 ♥
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